Having celebrated International Women’s day recently, it triggered in my mind as to how important self-confidence and self-esteem is in making a person. So first and foremost, let’s get our basics right- (A). It has nothing to do with one’s age or gender and (B). It’s never too late to develop, regain or build these two pillars. I personally have seen instances where a 60 year old has lost everything but self-confidence and a person in late 20’s has everything but lacks ‘these’ very essentials. Having said that, take 2 minutes to introspect and decide for yourself which roof would you choose to fall under?
The most striking personality trait that any successful person has is, he/she knows the self-worth. The foundation of being confident lies here. In today’s competitive world, it’s all about how one surpasses the self-set limitations and pushes oneself to the maxima. Self-confidence is not taught or learned; rather, it’s ‘Earned’. Read any success story of a business tycoon/celebrity or watch any motivational video, one commonality will be that they have a bag full of experiences, some bitter some sweet and how have they, at some point in time risked for getting what they intended to. Trick here is to do what you fear doing. If you fear water, take up swimming sessions; if you fear height, go for a trek in the nature; if you fear dogs, try feeding them biscuits. This seems to be one of the best ways to gain self-confidence. The moment you accomplish any of the tasks that you ‘think’ you are afraid of, you will get a sense of satisfaction which will eventually act as a booster to self-confidence.
Another key to self-confidence is taking pride in who you are and not being ashamed of how people see you. There are 100’s of self-help books which motivate you in every possible way, but eventually it drills down to how you think of yourself. Here you are left with two options- be so concerned of the eyes watching you and waiting to judge you, that you lose in what you once dreamt of being or simply break the mindset and set standards for yourself. Trust me, the day you are proud of who you are and not ashamed of how others see you, half of the battle will be won. I wonder at times as to why everyone is so busy pleasing people around?? Is it something that they have signed up for?
Now there are a set of people, who have lost their confidence due to some incidents in life or some experiences which have made them so. I would simply say, just because something didn’t work out the way you wanted doesn’t mean anything which is related will never work out in the future. It’s just that it wasn’t done right or the circumstances were not right. But losing confidence due to this sounds similar to saying, “I got 1 answer wrong in English grammar, I will never be able to converse in English”. Giving the best possible 2nd chance is important. If that would have been the case, for the people who know me well- I would never have taken up or even dreamt of choosing Mathematics as a subject for my Master’s. After all how can anyone see how great you are if you can’t see it yourself? The switch to regain the confidence lies somewhere within. The main wire of which is, avoiding negative people around. They are proven to be the greatest destroyers of self-confidence and self-esteem.
You don’t need a pep talk all the time to get started, you don’t need self-help book to make you think, you don’t need a company always to choose a path, you simply need the willingness and the right attitude to know that YOU ARE WORTH IT!! Apt would be a famous quote here- “Confidence is similar to a muscle. The more you use and stretch it, the stronger it gets.” Use it often! Be Confident, be you, of course the world will adjust.