I know!! I know!! There is no such word in any of the dictionaries, in fact no such word exists in any of the languages!! But here’s the deal-You can call your mother by any name you like and want, there is absolutely nothing that can stop you. Right?? If ‘Bazinga’ can be a universally accepted word then why not this!! Just kidding.
Things like this don’t happen much. Not that I am told to write it and not that I want to show it off. Just a thought passed by and I felt the need. Hence here I am, all charged up to pen down somethings this mother’s day-some things that are unusual, different, unique, stupid, simple but yet very complex. Yeah!! All at the same time…!!!
Defining a mother daughter relationship is not something that I would like to do here. Everyone is well aware of the kind of the bond that they generally share. I plan not to write generic stuff this time.
Being brought up in a very simple and a tough environment is reflected and quite evident in her thoughts and perspective to life. A lady who couldn’t choose what she was passionate about, who took care of a big Indian family in her late teens, who had so many responsibilities and hardships at very early age- yes she is my mother. The only person in my life I believe to be the most experienced one – in every walk of life. People say with age we get an experience of varied things, but she is a live example which would prove that, relation between experience and responsibilities is much more linear than that between experience and age.
Since the day I started to understand and live “life”- she was there to share it all. It wouldn’t be unfair if I call her ‘the Google’ of my life. For every question/situation, she showed me the way to the solution, but along with that very tactfully and cleverly, it was ensured that she didn’t provide me with a complete solution to the same- what layman terms as spoon feeding. That might be a very unusual thing to say, but unlike many mom’s, my mom never believed in spoon feeding and pampering.
Amongst all the family members, she is the one with whom I have fought the most that too on petty issues. To be very honest, I would not say I hate myself for fighting with her. Because that was the way in which we connected. Both of us being fond of talking (read as gossiping), would within no time, jump back to the same place where we left before the fight. 30 minutes being the maximum time that we have stayed without talking, if at the same place. It is often said that when a mother quarrels with her daughter, she has a double dose of unhappiness- her’s from the conflict and empathy with her daughters from the conflict with her. Now I realise this that she wasn’t happy either, arguing or fighting on small issues with me. Instead it hurt her much more than I could have imagined at that time. Throughout her life, a mother retains this special need to maintain a good relationship with her daughter, no matter what.
I still remember, I always used to crib to her, for loving my brother more than me. But calmly the answer that I would get from her was- ‘all the 5 fingers are not the same, but when you cut any one of them, the colour of the blood would be red!! (Apologies for the literal Gujarati to English translation, I am bad at it!!). Such is the context, that quoting her words would be the best way to portray that I remember all the timely quotes that she said- “Until and unless the meaning of what you want to say is conveyed to the listener, the words don’t matter”. Yes!!! I did the same thing.
A self-made 24*7 doctor, an electronics repairer (read as ‘jugaadu’), worlds best master chef, a full time dedicated homemaker and what not. She is there, then the family keeps on going, she falls sick or disturbed- things start falling apart, one by one. It is so rightly said that “A mother is she who can take a place of all others but whose place no one else can take.” I bow to you and salute you for making me what I am. From that air of jealousy when me and pappa pair up as a team and when I click a picture with him first and then with you, to you taking my side in case of an argument with pappa. This only a mother can do. Kudos to you!! Believe me or not, I have much more respect and love for you. (I know she will be dancing after reading this one line)
I can never forget that moment when I handed her the copy of my Masters’ thesis last year. Those tears in her eyes, tears of being so proud of me, tears of happiness, and tears of living her dream through me are still afresh. She wanted me to be her wings, to fly as she never quite had the courage to do. I love her for that. I love the fact that she wanted to give birth to her own wings. And I am indeed proud to be her wings. It’s her simplicity that I have very well inherited. For simplicity is not taught to you, it is something you inherit. Now when people and relatives who knew her since her 20s come and say that you look just like your mom- gives me a sense of pride and happiness. These words work as boosters for me. Unknowingly I try to be like her in certain aspects. A very soft hearted and an emotional person, with that ‘unique’ smile of hers (Yes unique because the people who have seen her, might get as to why).
Ending it by a direct note to her- “You have lost your confidence in teaching me how to be confident, you have lost your boldness in the process of making me bold, you have lost your strength in making what I am worth today. You live by this quote- “A mother who radiates self-love and self-acceptance actually vaccinates her daughter against low self-esteem”. Thanks might be a very small gesture in front of the numerous sacrifices that you have made. It makes me all full of emotions when I say- a big thank you for ALWAYS being by my side every time I failed, every time I fell. It does amaze me when I look back in life and see how easy it was to gracefully handle and accept those bad times when you were by my side. A promise is all I can make that your teachings will be followed forever and I will always love you no matter what. Because as you have always felt, I am like your 2nd son. I will live by it and make you proud in the days to come. Just wait and watch. Your one smile is just all what I want.”
No apt quotes for US, to close with, but these (by well-known writers)-“The more a daughter knows the details of her mother’s life the stronger the daughter gets.To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow.”
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!